I can understand if you are tired of hearing the same type of advice regarding your ED over and over again. For this blogpost I have gathered for you a variety of alternative practices and approaches that can you help with your erections.
Also known as the "Slow Sex Movement", Orgasmic Mediation is both a sexual practice and a mindset around sexuality. In the traditional orgasmic meditation practice a man strokes a woman’s clitoris for 15 minutes. This practice seems rather weird but offers a way to train yourself to put your focus on your partner while not aiming to achieve anything. From an ED perspective even more interesting is a variation of the practice where a woman strokes a man’s penis for 15 minutes. If you think that you might as well get a handjob then think again: During the so called „male OM“ there is nothing to be achieved other than staying connected to your partner. If you get hard that’s fine, if you don’t then that’s fine too. If you ejaculate that’s fine and if you don’t then that’s fine too. To read how to do the practice in detail, check Tim Ferris’ book „The Four Hour Body“ as well as his blogpost on the male OM.
Tantra
In western society, tantra is usually associated with spiritual sexuality, while nobody can really tell what it actually is. The truth is, I can’t tell you either, as there are so many different definitions and perceptions out there that it is really hard to grasp. What I can tell you that in the realm of tantra you have the chance to explore conscious and goalless sexuality, which can be very beneficial for anybody seeking to experience more pleasure during sex. I interviewed a tantra teacher who experienced ED at every first sexual encounter with a woman before he started taking tantra classes. His „first encounter ED“ disappeared shortly after as the tantric practice helped him to let go of his anxieties. He also pointed out that conscious breathing during sex can make a big impact. Try the following exercise: The next time when you are sexually aroused, experiment with your breath. Feel your breath flowing through you and you might realize how easily this can help you to relax. Also, make sure to breath out as much as you breath in to prevent oxygen from causing numbness.
As a first step check www.meetup.com if there are any tantra related meetups close to you and speak to some practitioners on what specific „education“ they advise.
Yoga
Don’t say that Yoga is not for until you have tried it. It is a great way to teach yourself relaxation of body and mind and might even lead to some energetic unblocking. At the worst you will find yourself the only man in a yoga class with ten sexually liberated women.
Kegel Exercises
Ever heard of the so called PC-muscle? That’s the muscle you contract in order to regulate your urine flow while peeing. Kegel exercises refer to the strengthening of this muscle by exercising it daily through contraction intervals. This practice is commonly used in order to fight premature ejaculation as a very tight squeeze of the muscle can keep a man from climaxing. If you have more control over when you climax then you have a direct influence on the length of you erection. Additionally, it might help your erections overall if you strengthen that muscle, so just give a try. The best way to get started is to download one of the countless Kegel exercise apps for your smartphone.
Relationship Project
Check out the blog „Forty Days of Dating“ (www.fortydaysofdating.com) to explore one of the coolest relationship experiments you will ever come across. Tim and Jessica, two friends living in New York, decided to date each other exclusively for 40 days and blog about it every day. What is so special about it is the fact that they did it without being attracted to each other. Furthermore, Tim was a notorious womanizer and therefore felt uncomfortable with monogamy.
I don’t want to give away how it developed but let me tell you why I am bringing it up in the context of this book. How about setting up your own „relationship project“ where you can explore your insecurities and try something you have never tried before? Maybe you want to explore an open relationship. Maybe you want to explore a sexual relationship with somebody who is not your sexual preference. Maybe you want to explore 40 days without intercourse. Only you know what challenges you most and confronting it can help you develop your sexuality. I think you have understood by now that a well-developed sexuality and a firm erection go hand in hand…
So… Have a think, maybe there is already somebody in your life who would suit for such an experiment.
Karezza
Karezza, also known as „coitus reservatus“ is known as the practice of sexual activity without climaxing. This concept also appears in both Tantra and Yoga and claims to increase the pleasure of sexual activity for a variety of reasons, most notably the loss of energy that men experience after ejaculation.
In the context of this post, practicing Karezza might strengthen your ability to have erections during intercourse, if your blocks and anxieties around ED are related to ejaculating. This can especially be the case if you have been consuming porn for years or if you are worried about not reaching orgasm during penetration.
Even if the idea of Karezza might seem odd to you, just give it a try for the sake of widening your sexual horizons. If anything, you will learn to appreciate aspects of sexual contact that you haven’t appreciated before as there will be no „race towards orgasm“.